HOW TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTION OF ENVY
The emotion of envy is often used interchangeably with that of jealousy but in truth they are different. According to Merriam-Webster, Envy means discontented longing for someone else’s advantages while jealousy means unpleasant suspicion, or apprehension of rivalship. Envy is most often used to refer to a covetous feeling toward another person’s attributes, possessions, or stature in life. Many people use jealous to mean the same thing.
Envy is the feeling that can drive you to kill someone just to get what they have, not something similar to what they have but the exact thing that they have while jealousy is the feeling that can drive you to kill someone so that they won’t take what you have.
Someone said that Jealousy is being scared that someone will take something you have away from you while envy is wanting what someone already has… sometimes at all cost.
I think the definitions above are enough to help you differentiate between the two.
Before I continue with telling you how to deal with your emotion of envy, there is something you must first learn to understand. Emotions are visitors, they come and go like the waves that hit the sea shores. Emotions should not define you or become your identity; that is why it is healthier for you to think of your emotions as something that is. No judgement, no finding out whether they are good or bad or whether they make you a good or bad person. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR EMOTIONS.
For instance, if you feel the emotions of sadness, it is better to say/think “I feel sad” than to say/think “I am sad” the latter is more powerful and is defining and pushing your entire being into the space of eternal sadness if you say the words long enough. And if you do say the words “I am sad” long enough, you will become a sad person and every action you take will be from a sad place but if you go with “I feel sad” instead, you subconsciously know that it is a feeling that will indeed pass and it always does.
When you feel the emotion of envy, don’t be hard on yourself. You only feel that emotion because you want more for yourself, so don’t hate yourself for feeling envy. The fact that you feel envious doesn’t make you a bad person.
It will take work to stop feeling envious of others but with a good amount of determination, you can make those feelings go away.
Accept what you feel.
One of the worst things you can do is to fight your emotions. We never win a battle over our emotions. We only let them go when we let them be. And we can only let them be when we don’t attach our thoughts to them. Whether you believe it or not, you can separate your emotions from your thoughts. It will be work but you can do it. Shift your mind from the envious thoughts that got you to the envious emotion in the first place and sooner or later, the feeling of envy will depart from you. You may have to repeat this process many times until those envious thoughts stop bugging you.
Stop comparing your weaknesses with other people’s strengths
It is time to stop comparing yourself with others. Stop comparing your weaknesses with other people’s strengths. It is an irrational thing to do but that is the root of envy. We all have weakness which we hide from others, the only thing we announce are our strengths; imagine this, you hear someone broadcasting their strength and you compare their strength with your hidden weakness… does that make any sense? No. So stop it. Every time you are tempted to compare yourself with another, think of your strengths and all the wonderful things you have done with them.
If you have only one strength (which is impossible) think of that one strength over and over again.
The feeling of envy is a very painful feeling to carry around and if held on to long enough, it will affect your ability to think properly. You will start seeing everything in life through the lens of the envy that you have let take over your mind. And this will push you to do despicable things to yourself and others included.
Another thing that can help you deal with the emotion of envy is gratitude. Giving thanks for the things you have and the person you are will move your focus from feeling less than someone else to being happy with the person you are and where you are going in life. Do this program to help your over all well being
Work on yourself
Work on the weaknesses that you can’t stand or enhance your strengths as much as you can. Do the things that you are passionate about and make time for yourself, learn and focus on your self development. A person who is focused on their self development journey is too busy working on being better and celebrating their successes (no matter how small) that they don’t have time to compare themselves with others.
Remember never to take your emotions of envy as a bad thing but to see it as an indicator to make a certain aspect of your life better, and you can make it better. No one is better than you, no one can ever be better than you. You are you and there is only one of you, so be the best you that you can be. Life is not hard. Life is not meant to be hard but we make it difficult for ourselves. Make yours easy by working on yourself.